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Obituaries for Kat Kinkade

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008
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Community founder and author Kat Kinkade passed away in July at the age of 77. Kinkade was involved in the founding of Twin Oaks, East Wind, and Acorn, and published two memoirs of life at Twin Oaks, A Walden Two Experiment, and Is it Utopia Yet?. Several US newspapers, including the New York Times and the Washington Post, published obituaries of Kinkade, highlighting her involvement in the communities movement.

Both articles highlight these accomplishments, as well as Kinkade's move in and out of the communes she helped form. The New York Times wrote of Kinkade's involvement in the early years of Twin Oaks:

It was not easy. The farm's well ran dry, cows starved over the winter and rammed-earth bricks did not generate the kind of revenue that the founders had hoped for. Pot-smoking hippies who drifted into the commune found themselves at odds with work-ethic missionaries like Ms. Kinkade, whose blunt practicality and executive talent - rare qualities in the counterculture - helped the stumbling colony achieve not just self-sufficiency but something resembling prosperity.

"She was the Hillary Clinton of Twin Oaks," her daughter said.

Ultimately, Twin Oaks succeeded, and Kinkade put her energy into founding other communities. The Washington Post wrote:

Unlike thousands of other communes that sprang up in the 1960s only to succumb to the perplexities of shared living, Twin Oaks gradually began to flourish, despite early hardship and dissension. It grew to almost a hundred communards, became a self-sustaining land trust of 450 efficiently managed acres and began to thrive financially when it signed a long-term contract with Pier 1 for its hammocks.

Although she was involved in founding two other income-sharing communities -- in Missouri and Virginia -- she told The Post in 1998 that communal life had not measured up to her expectations.

"My mother was disappointed that Twin Oaks did not turn out to be the model for what the rest of our society would be," said her daughter, Dr. Josie Kinkade of Louisa, Va. "When she found out that it was really just a nice place for some middle-class people to live, she was disappointed."

Although, I suspect that few kitchens in middle-class homes contain a cross-stitch sampler reading, "From each according to their need, to each according to their ability".

Read the full articles here [New York Times] and here [Washington Post].

 
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Texas Raid Stirs Commune Memories

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

Slate has an article by Lee Ann Kincade where she reflects on the similarities of her upbringing at Twin Oaks and the life of children in the recently raided FLDS community in Eldorado, Texas.

The children who were removed and the parents to whom they are returned seem like strangers from a distant world (or time) to you. But not to me. When I listen to the media describing their lives, they feel like distant kin. As the story unfolded, I found that I had more in common with these children than with people bringing me news of them.

Kinkade describes growing up with multiple caregivers and parent-level connections with those not biologically related to her:

Yet like the FLDS children, I grew up in a place where my "normal" was far enough from the average American childhood to make Dick and Jane books read like cultural anthropology. Like the FLDS children, my caregivers were nearly innumerable. Sometimes, it seemed as if nobody in particular was raising us. The most striking similarity between my life and theirs is the sense of division you feel when you grow up somewhere that defines itself as an alternative to the dominant culture. The boundaries of the property become the boundaries of ideology, dividing right from wrong, us from them. I no longer read the division as a moral issue, but I still see a divide. That's why, particularly when the news is of "outsiders," I read the newscasters as closely as the news itself and remember my own childhood.

As a child, the grown-up I was closest to cooked my homemade mac and cheese (before the hippies learned to cook tofu in any edible form) and was the only one who could get me to take a bath. She had two long-term relationships during my childhood and had them simultaneously. Biologically speaking, she wasn't my mother - but saying so is emotionally false. When I woke up from a nightmare (in the room I shared with a girl who is not my sister, but there is no better term to describe the person with whom I shared a room for 10 years and on whom I attempted to blame most of my childhood's high crimes and misdemeanors), I would walk up two flights of stairs to be comforted by the purveyor of mac and cheese, warmth, and safety. On certain days of the week, there would be a black-haired man next to her; on other days, a blond. I knew these men tangentially, knew they were her lovers, and didn't give them much thought. Whichever man it was would shove over. I would crawl under the blankets. She would put an arm around me.

Kinkade gives great commentary on the media's relationship to those whose lives are alien to their own (and those of their viewers/readers):

Underneath the desire to embrace cultural relativism and alternative definitions of family lurks a deep inability to reconcile the children who were taken into state custody with America's picture of itself. Americans might have an extremely generous and expansive notion of alternative lifestyle choices. But our notions of what constitutes an acceptable childhood occupy a very narrow bandwidth. Given the hairline margin for deviation, it isn't really surprising that the state of Texas' desire to protect the FLDS children resulted in chaos.

Its nice to see more public commentary on this topic from those with community experience.

Read the whole Slate article

June 24: This article was republished in the print newspaper, Dallas Morning News.

 
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